RED HAWK TIMES

News from Home

Volume 4 Issue 4 January 27, 1991
CONTENTS
Project List by Dad David's Article by David
Mom's News by Mom Sledding Adventures by Ann Marie
The Adventures of George and Fred by Nicholas

Project List by Dad
In recognition of the purposes of this publication, I am disclosing my confidential project list of 1991. In doing so I hope to elicit help, encouragement, cooperation and sympathy which may speed these projects along. Of course, any project requiring purchase of materials or supplies must be approved and scheduled by the Ministry of the Budget, the Chancellor of the Exchequer and the Secretary of Accounts Payable!

The List

  1. Clean and organize my office and desk and maintain an uncluttered desk top for the balance of the year.
  2. Continue work on the masterbath shower to a point where the shower is operational.
  3. Clean my dresser and my portion of the bedroom closet. Maintain an uncluttered dresser top for the balance of the year.
  4. Reduce my weight to 180 pounds and keep it there.
  5. Plan and erect walls for darkroom in the basement.
  6. Clean the foyer closet and keep it orderly for the balance of the year! (Mom et. al. have already finished the first of this one).
  7. Try channeling the roof leaks so that when it rains the drips fall in more convenient locations (not on Ann's pillow).
  8. Spread a layer of stone on the driveway.
  9. Cut down and then cut up various dead trees.

Sledding Aventures by Ann Marie
With the first substantial snowfall of winter, the Peterka kids (at least the ones left at home) journeyed down to the basement and attempted to dig up at least three decent sleds which will enable them to slide down hills. This activity occured on January 21, 1991 when Brian, Nick and myself decided it would be loads of fun to brave the outdoors and whip down the hills in the front and back yards.

So we prepared by searching for boots, hats, earmuffs, gloves and coats -- in all about 45 minutes worth! We then met on the porch to discover that we only had two sleds but no matter, we could share! We then proceeded to have about 15 minutes of fun sliding down the hills that once seemed so large and to go so fast. It turned out that the most exciting thing to do was to put the sled on the driveway, get a running head start, and jump into the sled to see who would slide the farthest on the sheet of ice. We decided to go inside and longed for the days gone by when we would spend hours outside sled riding.

However, we soon discovered that those days were not gone -- all we needed was a bigger hill. And so, on January 27, 1991 we traveled to the steepest hill around -- Hinkley Hill! This event was declared an Official Family Outing (although David decided not to go) and Dad didn't really want to. The truth is Mom didn't really want me driving to Hinkley because she "didn't know where the hill was and someone might get hurt!" Mom stayed in the van reading and after Dad viewed the hill from the bottom and watched us go down once, he returned to the van and took a nap.

Meanwhile, Nick, Brian and myself enjoyed ourselves cruising down the hill at top speeds and then walking back up (which took about seven minutes and tons of energy). We lasted a little over an hour before we were too tired to continue and went home.

A little note that I feel should be mentioned here. Hinkley Hill usually has about 10-15 people. On January 27, there were between 50 and 60! Surprisingly, I didn't see one person get seriously injured or even minorly for that matter! The biggest accident I saw (and believe me I saw it) was on our last trip down the icy slope. I was lying down on a plastic sled with Brian lying on my back (we were going so fast we almost time warped) when some bozo at the bottom of the hill didn't move and BAM! his foot went right into my face. Fortunately, it didn't do any damage -- just stung for about five hours.

Everyone had a great time -- even Mom and Dad said they did, although I feel they must be lying just so we think they didn't waste an entire afternoon because Mom was too nervous to let us go by ourselves!!!

David's Article by David
Alan, I miss you:
I remember when Alan first left for college. I was sad and lonely.

Kevin, I miss you:
I remember when Kevin first left for college. I was sad, lonely and short about 10 pairs of underwear.

Mary, I miss you:
I really don't remember when Mary first left for college. I was probably sad and lonely, but the feeling soon remedied itself when she came home every weekend!

*Important Note:

Due to a terribly busy schedule including Young Folk, play practice, school work, intramural basketball and watching really scary movies, David M. Peterka -- former literary genius -- has been transformed into a blithering idiot, and forced to write nothing but really simple thoughts and sentences.

Mom's News by Mom
I am not going to give anyone a list of what I hope to accomplish in '91. All can be surprised!!!

Ann and I went to Columbus last weekend and we just want to thank Al and Mary for the great time. We did see "Hamlet" with Mary and I enjoyed it -- Ann was a little bored.

I fell down on Tuesday evening! I had gone outside to throw salt on the driveway and I had put Vern's boots on -- they are too big for my feet and did not have on shoes!!! As I came back into the house my left foot got caught in the door ... boot came off, I hit the floor on both knees and jammed or sprained the little finger on my right hand. The finger is getting better -- this typing is no longer causing me major pain!!!

The Adventures of George and Fred by Nicholas
We join our crusaders as they're searching for the Ding-Flop-Floopy-Monster on Planet Question.

"I hate Planet Question." said George.

"I know what you mean, all they do is ask you questions." said Fred.

"Where are you going?" asked a boop-bopper and vanished.

"Are you a silly person?" asked a Quake-Quirler and fell over dead.

"This is very odd indeed." said George.

"I wonder what would happen if we asked them a question." said Fred.

Along came a Sqility Bombarus and this time they asked it a question. "Where is the Ding-Flop-Floopy-Monster?" asked Fred.

At that moment the Ding-Flop-Floopy-Monster appeared before them. It swooped down and swallowed them whole. George and Fred rode down the monster's throat and landed in their spaceship!

"That's the last time I ask a question on Planet Question!" exclaimed Fred.

"Better yet, let that be the last time you go to Planet Question." said George.

KABOOM!!! George and Fred's spaceship crashed on Planet Pizza.

"ALL RIGHT!!!"

The End


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