RED HAWK TIMES

News from Home

Volume 1 Issue 1 September 13, 1987
CONTENTS
Brunswick Vandalists by Alan Crosswords...Word Search...Puzzles by Brian
Daily News by Nick Eagles Triumphant Over Panthers by A.M.
Red Hawk Rambling by David Brunswick Defeats West Tech: 35-12 by A.M.
Advice From Dear Ann! Flash...Flash...Flash
Coming Soon Staff

Brunswick Vandalists by Alan

It was Friday morning somewhere between 12 A.M. - 4:00 A.M. that the vandalists struck the Peterka yard. Alan Peterka (16) and Ann Marie Peterka (14) were the first to find the yard wrapped up like a mummy. Alan said while looking at the mess drapping from tree to tree, "I hope it wasn't any of my friends!" Ann stated while unwrapping the van, "This 1ooks cool!" The expert clean-up committee: David, 13, Brian, 11 and Nick 8 said "This was one great rolling job, so we ought to get Clevengers back!" Little did they Know, it wasn't Clevengers. As Alan and Ann got to school, Al picked up some additional information. It turned out Peterka's weren't the only ones vandalized. Amy Kolinski, Bryon Thomas, Alicia S., Traci Christler, and Tabatha Saraniti were also rolled. With this additional info it was easy to suspect three persons as the vandalists. They are Doug S., Jess and Steve D. --none of whom admitted to the rolling. When Alan and Ann returned home all the "t.p." was out of the trees (well mostly)'. Later that evening Mary Peterka, 19 said, "That's a terrible thing to do, I think we should sue them for trespassing!" upon hearing this David shouted, "Pile On!!!" and everyone jumped Mary and beat her to a pulp.

Daily News by Nick

Mom and Mary Peterka have admitted to PIG OUT ...then they will go on a Diet! And also in the news, David Peterka's tape of Susan Vega has been eaten. Hi, I'm Nick Peterka and that's all the news for today!!!

Red Hawk Rambling by David

It all started that one day Kelly Uker up-chucked all over Brian E. Peterka. Since that day strange events have been occurring. One result of that incident is that people have been calling Ms. Uker Kelly "Puker". We also have reason to believe that the incident Just referred to caused Tweed Peterka to mess on the floor at exactly 7:32 P.M. Sept. 12, 1987! This accident really made me mad because I had to clean it up all by myself. And that's another thing, Brian shouldn't be going off to his friend's house when the floor is wet. Come to think of it a lot of things get me upset, like all of Nick's little toys smashing and crashing all over the place. Which brings me to my point. Drinking and driving will kill you.

Advice From Dear Ann

Dear Ann, I have a fatal disease and I don't know what to do about it.
Concerned

Dear Concerned,
Thats and easy one, die.

Dear Ann, We are haveing a disagreement. Can we use the toliet paper that was hanging in our trees in our bathroom?
Wondering

Dear Wondering,
You know what they say - Waste not want not.

Dear Ann, In my dreams all they ever give me to eat is pizza. Do you think I'm crazy?
Pizzanut

Dear Pizzanut,
Don't worry. I think you are perfectly normal

Any problems? Write to dear Ann, XXXX XXXXXXXX Road, XXXXXXXX, XX. XXXXX

Crosswords...Word Search...Puzzles by Brian

R L C I S U M U Y P S Z S
U E K X Y A B O R I C S U
M C D D B E F M U Z H G S
H I L H R J K I B Z U L A
G U I T A R M T S A B N N
O P Q R S W T U G H E Z V
B R I A N W K X N U R Y E
Z L K F L E A S I T T F G
P E T E R K A M K S X N A

Can you find: Red Hawks, vomit, Peterka, Brian, Pizza Hut, Arby's, Susan Vega, guitar, music, Schubert, fleas, Kingsbury

Eagles Triumphant Over Panthers by A.M.

on September 12, 1987 the Eagles,with star player Ann Peterka, squashed the Panthers by a score of 6-0! At the end of the first half the score was Eagles 1, Panthers 0. The Eagles goal was made by Kirsten Olsen but would have not been possible had Ann Peterka not amazingly centered the ball. In the second half, Ann Peterka scored on a one on one situation with the goalie. Other goals made by Rachell Wires, Gwen VoJtech, Becky Kulbaga, and number 14 (someone on the other team scored forthe Eagles). The Red Hawks sports staff have voted Ann Peterka most valuable player of the week!!!!!!!!

Brunswick Defeats West Tech by A.M.

West Tech put up a good fight in the first half but could not help falling behind because Brunswick is number one!!! Now, personally I would like to write about the game. But the editor says that will be too boring and I should say who was there. Due to lack of space I will only mention a few: Ann P., Alan P, Amy, Bryon, Alish, Mark C., Jess, Gary, Tracy, Doug, Steve D. and Tom Dubbs (the Q-back) Now, I think that highlights of the game would have been more exciting but due to lack of space and the editor this will have to do!!!!! (After the game the group tried to enter Pizza Hut but were turned away!!! So the group went to McDonalds)

Flash...Flash...Flash

BROWNS LOSE SEASON OPENER: 28-21!!!!!

Coming Soon:

--School News
--Ratings for new TV season
--Interviews with V. Peterka who will be in Sunbury PA the week of Sept. 14th!
--More soccer.
--More gossip (like what did Brian sign up to do???)

Staff

Editor......C. Peterka
Photo.......V. Peterka
Feature.....Al Peterka
Sports......A.M. Peterka
News........Nick
"Rambling"..D. Peterka
Game........Brian Peterka
"Dear Ann"..Ann and Mary Peterka

Contents | Red Hawk Times