| September 29, 1991 | |
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WELCOME!!
Welcome to Crap from Columbus, a whenever-we-can-get-it-out paper, which will keep everyone aware of the goings on in the Ohio State University region. But before you read any further, I would like to apologize to those out there who are offended by the title of our humble paper and assure you that we don't mean to be crude. Also, the title will change with every new issue. So now, sit back, relax, enjoy the paper, and then get up and send us something to eat.
by Ann Peterka, editor UNTITLED MASTERPIECE: CHAPTER ONE (Peterka apartment in Columbus, OH. Mary, Alan, Ann, and Jenny B. have just finished dinner and are starting to do homework...) RING.. RING... Al: Oh no, not again. Mary, get the phone. Mary: I got it last time, and be-sides they never want to talk to me. Jenny: How do you know who it is? RING... Ann: Because Jen, the only other person who calls frequently is already here. J: Oh yeah. RING... Al: Well, one more ring and the machine should answer it. A: Not likely. I shut it off cause we were all here. M: Stupid. What'd you do that for? RING... A: I forgot that we had decided to screen evening calls between 7 and 10. J: Well, someones gonna have to answer it. Maybe if I get it, they'll think they have the wrong number. RING... Al: Not likely, but it's worth a shot. A: I can't believe they've let it ring six times already. M: Ann, just answer it. You know they want to talk to you. RING... A: What's wrong with Jenny getting it? They'll never recognize her voice if she alters it a little. M: It's not nice to make Jenny lie like that. Al: Besides, she'd probably laugh and give us away. RING... J: Gee, that's eight rings. They're very persistent. A: Okay, I'll get it! Hello? Oh, hi mom!! We weren't expecting you to call tonight... why? because we talked to you last night and the night be-fore... no, it's great to hear your voice so often.. .yeah, I know you miss me. What about Al and Mary?.. .oh, you don't?... okay, I'll tell them you said hi.. okay.. .yep. . okay mom.. .yeah, see you soon... okay, goodnight. (More to follow....)
by Ann Peterka |
STATEMENTS ON THE STAR TREK MARATHON
Ann: Blechch! Jenny: zzzzzzzzzzz Al: Put some pants on Lt. 0 'Hara. Mary: I thought it was really good. It was the highlight of my weekend.
by Ann Peterka MOVIE PREVIEW On Friday, September 27, 1991, the long-awaited Terry Gilliam film "The Fisher King" starring Robin Williams and Jeff Bridges opened in theatres across the state. The film is a modern day search for the Holy Grail. This is a movie I would really like to see. The previews on television make it seem like it would be really funny, yet provide a deeper look into the meaning of life. The person who narrates the preview really has a good speaking voice, and, in a short amount of time, is able to introduce the main characters along with giving a brief plot summary. The preview editor also did a good job allowing you to glimpse a few of the exciting scenes, without giving away the whole film. "The Fisher King" preview, which can be viewed nationally on NBC, ABC, and CBS, gets the Jenny Beckstrom "thumbs up!" and "Hey, that looks really neat!" So, if you have the opportunity, sit down in front of the TV and wait for a "Most Excellent" preview.
by Jenny Beckstrom TOP TEN REASONS for VISITING OHIO STATE
by Mary Peterka & Dave Powell PAPER IDEA GONE SOUR I really believed I had hit upon a good idea last weekend, when I suggested to Ann that we should write a paper. Little did I know she would actually expect me to write an article. In addition, she set a deadline and has harassed us all week about getting our articles in. Now here I sit, an hour and a half before deadline, everyone else having turned their articles in, with absolutely nothing to write about. Maybe Mom and Dad will call again to speak with Ann and I could write about that.
by Mary Peterka CONTEST-PRIZES-CONTEST
This is an exciting twist on everyone’s favorite party game--guess the
number of M and M's in the jar. The jar is sitting on our kitchen
counter full of M and M's. We realize it would be easier if you could
actually see the jar, but thought this would be much more of a
challenge. Just send your guesses to:
by Mary Peterka |